If anybody reading the following thinks that any part is worth 
repeating, go for it, but would appreciate you crediting the source.

All of the following 'musings' are not meant to be any more than
random thoughts believed to be originated as the by-product of a
mind in free-fall and any similarities are purely
inter-parallel-worldly.

The Bible tells us that the apple is the forbidden fruit, so
there really should be an eleventh commandment saying,
"Thou shalt not eat a Steve Jobs".

If you own a talking parrot that will definitely outlive you, do
you wonder what it will say about you after you're dead.

If you consider that what used to be known as the "average" IQ
could be represented as being on the equator...then today it's
rapidly approaching Anarctica

Kinda of mind-blowing and electrifying to realize that 1 pair of
chromosomes and a tiny percentage of DNA between humans and
chimps are the difference in having the ability to conceive the
theory of relativity and being able to drag your knuckles on the
ground as you walk.

Ladies should be aware that the guy who waits for that 'special
parking spot' in front of the trendy restaurant where the
"hotties" go, so he can display his new flash Ferrari with all
bells and whistles, has to be a lousy lover because he's already
climaxed.

I just read a book where the time-frame was the mid 1920s and the
author really captured the ambience as it was...and convincing me
that the ordinary people may not have lived as long as we do now,
but they sure as hell had a lot more fun smoking, eating and
drinking anything they wanted and not knowing or caring about
unknowables like cholesterol, triglycerides and a million other
no-nos.
So...who's better off, us or them...
No bonus points for which group is more smug and self-righteous!

Here's a good news-bad news item to ponder.  You can't learn
ignorance...and you certainly can't unlearn it.

Thinking about Noah's ark...and putting aside incredulity and
accepting the biblical version that the ark was big enough to
accomodate all the animals on Earth...
There's just not enough money in the world that could induce me
to hire on as the guy who cleaned out all the crap!

A good indicator that you're Thinking it out before you act
rashly is not naming your newly formed fantasy league team the
"Titanics"

In all those countries that brag about their low incidence of
cancer because of the locally grown  food they eat,
never mention that most of the residents don't live long enough
to develope cancer.

Hundreds of species of geckos live all over the world as long as
it's a "warm climate".
No known specie of gecko comes from or survives in East London
and there is no recorded instance of one with a Cockney accent...
Hope "that" insurance company at least has the decency to insure
the poor thing against catching pneumonia!

. If they tried to settle the "Wild West" today with the
current quality of politicians and zealous political correctness,
it would still be Indian country

The definition of being really rich is that not only is there no
waiting but that, the doctor waits for you.

They say that rats and cockroaches will be the only things to
survive a nuclear holocost...wrong...they forgot to include
lawyers!

In baseball, when you see the hitter choking up on the bat, don't
you wonder why he just doesn't use a shorter bat.

Turning the other cheek is a masochist's dream
Turning the other cheek is a sadist's dream

Being upwardly mobile and realizing that the upside potential is so
tremendous, I'm considering declaring myself as an illegal alien.
Health care at no cost, free education, no taxes to pay--and I can
even vote!

Forget what you've heard about how great maturity and
experience are: there's no upside in getting old.

When you hear about a "born politician", you're making the case
for mandatory abortion.

If vegetarians hate meat so much then why is it they try to
make everything taste like meat.

Agreeing to going through the procedure of being artificially
inseminated has to be very much like being presented with a bowl of
championship chili and not having any taste buds

Quote from the pre 12-step program joiner or the post program
recidivist:
I'd rather have a frontal lobotomy
than an empty bottle in front of me

Just a thought...I wonder if anybody has considered that the
reason Tiger Woods had all thos sexual encounters is maybe two
children equal the only two times Elin consented

When you're told that politicians are whores, that's really
insulting to the whores, because at least "sometimes", they give
value for money.

Don't bother telling me what I'm doing wrong...nobody is
harder on me, than me

Do fully committed members of PETA with unalloyed passion for
all animals, use flea collars on their pet dogs.

In Siberia, the temperature in Hell must be zero

Perspective is everything...when you want to do a download,
the difference between a man with a stomach problem and a nerd is
that the nerd wants to do it on the computer.

I guess the one real advantage in being a "Jew for Jesus" is that
you get to take off everybody's holidays.

How can education be improved when there are fewer and fewer that
know how to spell it.

One definition of egomania is that the French truly believe that
everybody outside of France cares what they think

I doubt that the corporate golden parachute would be as desirable
if the chute was packed by stockholders.
Result--at ground zero, Fat Cats make the biggest mess

   Pimps are a kind of lobbyist, and the reverse of that is a
certainty
And the non-sexist corollary to that is lobbyists make pimps and
madames, look like honest businessmen and women

What flavors do corpsicles come in

If the Earth's rotation is speeding up, no doubt it's because of
all the grave-spinning coming from America's "Founding Fathers"

When you hear somebody say it's hotter than hell...how do they
know that

How do you stage a watermelon seed spitting contest with seedless
watermelons

If you could walk into a club or trendy restaurant and enforce an
edict that only two words, "LIKE" and "AWESOME" could not be
spoken, can you imagine how nice and quiet it would be with
everybody mute

You could play an entire season in an hour if the fat lady sang first